Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
