You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
