I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
