I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I smell stomach acid.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
