When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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