I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
