look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
