Sacagawea was the original milf.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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