yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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