great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
