Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why do cheetos always look like penises
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
