I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
