thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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