Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
