my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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