Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
