no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
