This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize