ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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