pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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