At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude i'm inner monologue high
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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