i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
