My balls are so social today.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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