i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
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There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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