All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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