Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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