I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
