im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
