They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
last night I used snow as a chaser
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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