He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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