Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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