He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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