she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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