how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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