Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
