I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I party with great urgency now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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