My first STD was from a foam party
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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