Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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