So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
