She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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