Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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