im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
my poor anus
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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