just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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