If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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