My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
