Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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