hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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