She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
