I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
