My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
