you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why do cheetos always look like penises
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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