is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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