new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
