idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
