You're completely useless in the revolution.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
