Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
